yoga

The brach said to the root, ‘it’s not your fault.’
To which the root relied,
’I have no regrets.’

A couple months ago i was having a healing moment while watching Korean melodrama, like we do ;) (Crash landing on you anyone?). It all started after a tornado brought an unsuspecting paraglider across the border from South Korea into North- and two seemingly star-crossed lovers find a way… but somewhere in the dialogue these two lines- ‘it’s not your fault’, and then ‘i have no regrets’….. and for whatever reason, my system was primed. Tears upon tears… yes partially it was this love of a persevering love, but it was also clearly plucking an old string of separation. As children, it is common to make the slightest conflict in our environments our fault and to keep the caregiver flawless because our own life depends on them. These hidden away ‘parts’ can stay underground just waiting for the perfect Korean melodrama to help them recollect and then reconnect… and so if goes, yet again, this process of feeling, holding, absorbing..

There are hundreds of parts, hundreds of misconstrued moments, waiting for the wink of acknowledgment, the tip of the hat. Without which, we can find ourselves in sticky tricky circumstance wed to repetition compulsion ad infinitum.

Later that week i enjoyed a dinner at Hotel Nirvana (image above) and took in the incredible trees on the property. Suddenly the echo of the healing that was still reorganizing inside me was also playing itself out in the limbs and roots of the tree.. this separated organism that has each side growing in such seemingly opposing directions... The more i meditated on these magnificent creatures in my midst, the more the divide made itself whole inside of me. The majesty that is tree and these parts moving in opposition, have the same origin point. Life took them in different directions and they danced with gravity differently but it can all be traced to the acorn or the seed and is a perfect display of balance. The ways life pulls us apart is nothing short of miraculous and the most gorgeous act of artistry there is, whether it’s a towering figure of bark and branch or a creature differentiating from the herd.

In addition to the exploration of opposing forces inside of us, we are all having a very potent experience of that in the political arena here in the ‘United’ States. A divide so extreme that it can feel a little like parallel realities where never the twain shall meet. From the eye of the bird it might look a bit like one side that cant see how they and their policies/ beliefs have been complicit in creating the very thing they dislike. And the other group feeling slighted and then a resulting rebellion against said policies/ beliefs that don’t look out for the whole and have unconscious roots in colonialism. These are big statements, I know, but if we investigate how we ourselves pile meaning making and rebellion into this body and our own biographies, we will begin to decipher the pattern of tit for tat relating rather than one of deep love, compassion and understanding. No matter who wins this election, the never-the-twain mentality will keep us in a stalemate if we as a people don’t evolve toward an experience of greater whole- here at home and in our foreign policy. But what I can say is that I do see and experience growing movements of people that actually don’t want to pick a side or engage in this thing as if it were a team sport for one side to ‘win’ or slandering each others’ character in order to elevate their point. Who understand what got us here. There are people and movements that are more interested in finding common ground and know that if we don’t take care of each other, first and foremost- alllllll the people, then everyone suffers. I do believe in my heart of hearts that deeper waves of this way will trickle UP into our governing bodies. The new trickle up understands that the branch and the root came from the same acorn and are both sacred and worthy of our deepest respect. It sees the deep patterns of cause and effect and becomes wise witness rather than reactionary. To attain these widespread ripples of respect, we really have to understand how we got here. We really have to investigate our role- every one of us, and look at the uncomfortable. The unconscious residue of colonialism and divide and conquer mentality that none of us is exempt from, at the very least, in the dark annals of mind and utterly untouched unconscious (i’ll be sending a very practical way to work with this later this week).

Creating change is not an overnight affair. When there is no reference point, it requires more out of us to really use imagination and do the work of moving from our deeper nature (zoom in somatic work, ifs, art of all forms…). It can be so easy to slide back into well trodden neuropathways clad in different clothes. It requires of us a togetherness that we haven’t known. A skill set less polished. And so, sweet friends, get out your paints, clay and pens, it’s time to create something new.

>> Incidentally, if you’re feeling stuck with that, maybe look a little further back… I am finding it wildly inspiring to look at some of the information emerging about prehistoric civilizations. The sad fact of the amazon burning, on a more positive side, has revealed geoglyphs that seem to have some sort of wildly intricate and precise organization and point to a civilization of extreme intelligence. Modern mind likes to think that we are the best of the heap, and have emerged from barbarism. To contemplate a different story might rewire our own imperial identity and bring about the humility and therefore atonement that’s needed to meet this pivotal moment. One thing that is for certain is that these civilizations are deeply connected to earth and live in devotion to nature. <<

Jack Kerouac said that "in the end, it’s not the story that matters; it’s the truth that’s told." Whether or not there was some generative, peaceful, and collaborative expression of coexistence, I think it behooves us all to feel into the truth and the beauty that these artifacts point to-> that we can do this differently.

If it’s the echo of ancient civilizations, deep somatic work, honing relational skills, or deconstructing our imperialism, all of these help us land a little deeper into mystery mind and holistic vantage points, both inside ourselves and across the globe.

As ever, my practice and teaching is eco-informed. ‘Never the twain’ was never the aim of Mother Nature who winds and weaves in ways that are completely and unexpectedly brilliant. And always in service to greater life. Can we bask in that brilliance and understand it in our bones? Can we reach wayyyy back beyond antiquity to a time when things were done with reverence and restoration for all and everything? Can we reach wayyy forward and imagine and create? Can we change?

I don’t know the answer to that, but I sure as heck want to align with what might lean in that direction and seek inner and outer wisdom that is about as untouched as prehistoric worlds.
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There are a few upcoming options for you to practice inquiring into this new (old) world way.
I’ll be sending more soon but if you know you want to jump in to either of these, reply here and we can reserve your spot. Space is limited ~

RETREAT:
We still have a few spots open for our December Nourishment Retreat- RESPLENDENT AS A ROSE
December 6-8.
8 minutes outside of Boulder, CO.

MEDITATION:
3 week embodied meditation series - THE POETICS OF PRESENCE-
November 10, 17, 24, 6pm MT.
On zoom.

And for your entertainment, and perhaps a little more excavation of the soils of the flesh, this interview happened a little while back. I’m excited to share. Let me know what lands and what arises- I always love hearing.